• Report: Lonely Student Probably Not Using That Chair

    EAGLE’S NEST — A study done by the Boston College Sociology department revealed that the lonely student a few tables over from you in the Rat is most likely not using that chair. “Are you using this chair?” asked participants in the study to students sitting alone in the middle of long tables in the […]

  • Introducing… SandwichBot3000!

    After months of development The NEC is finally debuting our new artificial intelligence technology SandwichBot3000, an automated content generating system capable of writing humor articles even faster than before! We are still working out a few bugs, but we’re confident we’ll have a fully automated writing staff by 2024. The future is now! Lazy CSOM […]

  • Catholic Church Relieved To Not Be Only Institution With History Of Male Sexual Misconduct

    VATICAN CITY — In a surprise press conference last week, Pope Francis weighed in on the growing series of sexual assault and harassment scandals that have been breaking with alarming regularity for the past few months. Speaking from deep within the Apostolic Palace, the Pope commended the brave women and men who have come forward […]

  • Opinion: Don’t Say You Love The Rat If You Won’t Grow A Rat-Tail

    There are a lot of places to hang out at Boston College, but only one is worth your time. No one with any sense of cool would be caught dead at Eagle’s—that place is for losers. Hillside? That bourgeois piece of trash? Don’t make me laugh. At Boston College, there’s only one place to be […]

  • CAB Mistakenly Schedules Therapy Bees For Finals

    CHESTNUT HILL — Confusion broke out on the Heights this afternoon as the Campus Activities Board realized they had accidentally scheduled therapy bees instead of dogs. CAB ordered approximately 40,000 bees from ten different hives, rather than the three unexcited dogs usually acquired for this event. Dozens of exhausted, foul-smelling students were greeted in the […]

Featured

Report: Lonely Student Probably Not Using That Chair

EAGLE’S NEST — A study done by the Boston College Sociology department revealed that the lonely student a few tables over from you in the Rat is most likely not using that chair. “Are you using this chair?” asked participants in the study to students sitting alone in the middle of long tables in the […]

Introducing… SandwichBot3000!

After months of development The NEC is finally debuting our new artificial intelligence technology SandwichBot3000, an automated content generating system capable of writing humor articles even faster than before! We are still working out a few bugs, but we’re confident we’ll have a fully automated writing staff by 2024. The future is now! Lazy CSOM […]

Catholic Church Relieved To Not Be Only Institution With History Of Male Sexual Misconduct

VATICAN CITY — In a surprise press conference last week, Pope Francis weighed in on the growing series of sexual assault and harassment scandals that have been breaking with alarming regularity for the past few months. Speaking from deep within the Apostolic Palace, the Pope commended the brave women and men who have come forward […]

Opinion: Don’t Say You Love The Rat If You Won’t Grow A Rat-Tail

There are a lot of places to hang out at Boston College, but only one is worth your time. No one with any sense of cool would be caught dead at Eagle’s—that place is for losers. Hillside? That bourgeois piece of trash? Don’t make me laugh. At Boston College, there’s only one place to be […]

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