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    Embarrassing: This Freshman Said “Have A Good Day Professor” To His Mom

    CLAVER HALL — In a recent phone call home, freshman Dave McDoug (LSOE ‘21) reportedly bid farewell to his mother by saying “Have a good day, professor.” “God, I’m so embarrassed!” McDoug said in an interview. “I accidentally referred to the woman whose womb I once called home as ‘professor.’ Now she is going to […]

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    CSOM Student Has Business Casual Sex

    STAYER HALL — Carroll School of Management junior Dan Tribbiani reportedly engaged in business casual sex Saturday night. The hookup began at a Career Center event in Mod 12A. Upon arrival, Tribbiani hoped to improve his employment prospects and also maybe fuck. Once inside, he connected with Jessica Lange (CSOM ‘19), the campus ambassador for Core […]

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    Jesuits Plan “Holy War” Tailgate Ahead of Notre Dame Game

    ST. MARY’S LAWN — A group of Jesuit priests are preparing to host the “tailgate of the millennium” to coincide with Saturday’s Holy War football game against Notre Dame, Boston College’s long-standing rival Jesuit institution. Initial reports suggested that the clergymen had set up a large charcoal grill and several plastic folding tables on the […]

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    38% of Student Body Shares Same One Black Friend

    CHESTNUT HILL  — Thirty-eight percent of current Boston College undergraduates share the same one black friend, according to a recent study by the Department of Sociology. Researchers found that being friends with junior Marcus Williams (MCAS ‘19) provides over 2,000 students with an excuse to “jokingly” say the n-word and casually stereotype minorities. “You know […]

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    It’s Suit Time!

    It is the time when all the suits come out to play! Hark, my children! Grab your neckties and button your cuffs, for it is suit time. Yessir, we’ve waited many a fortnight but it has finally come: the time when all the suits come out to frolic on the Quad. Don’t be caught looking […]

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1334x1000-jpeg-6cdc8578110a42d59b5becd438d1ff8b

Embarrassing: This Freshman Said “Have A Good Day Professor” To His Mom

CLAVER HALL — In a recent phone call home, freshman Dave McDoug (LSOE ‘21) reportedly bid farewell to his mother by saying “Have a good day, professor.” “God, I’m so embarrassed!” McDoug said in an interview. “I accidentally referred to the woman whose womb I once called home as ‘professor.’ Now she is going to […]

img_8183-2-jpg

CSOM Student Has Business Casual Sex

STAYER HALL — Carroll School of Management junior Dan Tribbiani reportedly engaged in business casual sex Saturday night. The hookup began at a Career Center event in Mod 12A. Upon arrival, Tribbiani hoped to improve his employment prospects and also maybe fuck. Once inside, he connected with Jessica Lange (CSOM ‘19), the campus ambassador for Core […]

img_0135

Jesuits Plan “Holy War” Tailgate Ahead of Notre Dame Game

ST. MARY’S LAWN — A group of Jesuit priests are preparing to host the “tailgate of the millennium” to coincide with Saturday’s Holy War football game against Notre Dame, Boston College’s long-standing rival Jesuit institution. Initial reports suggested that the clergymen had set up a large charcoal grill and several plastic folding tables on the […]

image-img

38% of Student Body Shares Same One Black Friend

CHESTNUT HILL  — Thirty-eight percent of current Boston College undergraduates share the same one black friend, according to a recent study by the Department of Sociology. Researchers found that being friends with junior Marcus Williams (MCAS ‘19) provides over 2,000 students with an excuse to “jokingly” say the n-word and casually stereotype minorities. “You know […]

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