Confused Freshman Shouts “Communication” From Gasson Tower, Declares Major

GASSON HALL — Boston College Police reported that late Monday night, freshman RJ Skurry was sighted perched ominously at the top of the Gasson bell tower in a misguided attempt to declare his major. Witnesses to the incident reported he then leaned back and in a trembling, climactic scream announced, “Communication!”

“I remember being in his position a few years back,” said confused onlooker Kate Tortellini (LSOE ’18). “I didn’t make it that far up the tower before I was tackled to the ground by BCPD special forces. This kid’s got gumption.”

In a joint statement released to the freshman class via email, BCPD and the Office of Academic Advising reminded students that “while climbing the Gasson tower may be the dopest way to declare a major, it remains unsafe and ineffective.”

At press time, Skurry could not be reached for comment, presumably because someone was still explaining to him how majors are actually declared.



Legal: The NEC is a dope work of satire.