jesuit_hottub_necklace

“God Best Experienced In This Hot Tub,” Reports Vacationing Jesuit

TURKS AND CAICOS ISLANDS — After ordering several fruity drinks and stripping down from his robes, Fr. Tommy O’Harrison, SJ, who treated himself to a vacation over Boston College’s spring break, reportedly came to the divine realization on Sunday afternoon that God was best experienced in the exact jacuzzi at The Palms Turks And Caicos he was in at that moment.

“I have never seen another person in such a state of euphoric bliss,” reported 49-year-old vacationing father Greg Royce, adding that Fr. O’Harrison was humming along to Jimmy Buffet and lathering his chest with tropical oils. “I swear I saw a golden aura of angels surrounding him. What a tropical priest!” Other eyewitnesses have confirmed that Fr. O’Harrison, who has been a Jesuit for 34 years, later emerged from the hot tub to adjust the strength of the bubbles, a change which only increased his connection with the divine.

At press time, Fr. O’Harrison was having his faith in God tested as he had just been seated next to a 310-pound-man on his flight back to Boston.

LEAVE A COMMENT

chefs@thenewenglandclassic.com

Legal: The NEC is a dope work of satire.