• robzombie

    Plex Bro Takes Good Look Around Before Set to Make Sure People Are Watching

    FLYNN RECREATION COMPLEX — Standing in front of the cable machine while mentally preparing himself for another set of a tricep exercise, frequent Plex-goer Rob Schlossman (CSOM ‘19) checked his surroundings to ensure that someone would be watching him work out. Unable to find anyone at first, the sophomore eventually established brief eye contact with […]

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    WTF, ResLife? Why Is My Dad Moving Out Of The House?

    Four words about ResLife? Worst. University Office. Ever. Allow me to explain: The FAT CATS in the Boston College Office of Residential Life think they’re all HIGH AND MIGHTY—especially this week—because they control housing decisions at Boston College. They mock students on Twitter with GIFs, reveling in their ephemeral relevancy and using humor to create […]

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    This Homeless Man Doesn’t Get To Live In Walsh, Either

    Every March at Boston College, countless groups of eight freshman are devastated after not receiving a pick time early enough for one of Lower Campus’ coveted suites. Instead, they are forced to break up into smaller groups and cross their fingers for a nine-man—or even just a double in 66. They make jokes around dining […]

  • meatball

    ResLife Clerical Error Gives One Lucky Freshman Housing In Meatball Obsession Stand

    LOWER CAMPUS — As many Boston College freshmen continue their frantic social scramble to secure housing for next year, one lucky student will be living somewhere a little more unique than the typical sophomore housing options, thanks to a clerical error by an entry-level ResLife employee. Vito Anthony Bertucci, Jr. (MCAS ’20) will spend his […]

  • reschoice

    “ResChoice” Students Demand More Say In Housing Process

    OFFICE OF RESIDENTIAL LIFE — A new protest movement on campus has started to gain noticeable traction this week, as hundreds of students are coming together to express their frustration with the notoriously tedious Boston College room selection process. These student activists, who describe themselves as “ResChoice,” are finally speaking up after years of oppression […]

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Sweet Ways to Say “I Love You” That Will Make Him Say “Same”

So you went to the Kerry Cronin talk and invited that cute guy in gray sweatpants from your Europe and The World discussion on a date, and since then, things have been going great! You’ve spent every Thursday, Friday, and Saturday in his tiny twin bed, pretending to watch The Office and trying to find […]

Everybody's kissin'

“Everyone’s Sick Cause Everyone’s Kissin’,” Reports University Health Services

2150 COMMONWEALTH AVENUE — Noting a drastic increase in students with cold and flu symptoms in the past week, University Health Services performed an extensive data analysis and came to the conclusion that “everyone’s sick cause everyone’s kissin.’” Laboratory tests on samples from several infected people confirmed what health officials had suspected: sickness spreads from […]

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Boston College Promises To Provide Students Sanctuary From Snow, No Word Yet About White Nationalist US Administration

MALONEY PRESIDENTIAL SUITE — Taking advantage of yesterday’s snow day for some much-needed personal time, University President Rev. William P. Leahy, S.J., sat down with several members of the press to affirm Boston College’s commitment to keeping its students safe from the weather, but not the white nationalists passing executive orders in the White House. […]

Giddy Addazio Gets To Ride Elevator With Jerry York

Giddy Steve Addazio Gets To Ride Elevator With Jerry York

YAWKEY ATHLETIC CENTER – Earlier today, Boston College football head coach Steve Addazio found himself starstruck riding in the same elevator as men’s hockey head coach Jerry York. York, who boasts 1,030 wins in his coaching career, exited the elevator at the second floor before even noticing the gasps and heavy breathing coming from an […]

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