• robzombie

    Plex Bro Takes Good Look Around Before Set to Make Sure People Are Watching

    FLYNN RECREATION COMPLEX — Standing in front of the cable machine while mentally preparing himself for another set of a tricep exercise, frequent Plex-goer Rob Schlossman (CSOM ‘19) checked his surroundings to ensure that someone would be watching him work out. Unable to find anyone at first, the sophomore eventually established brief eye contact with […]

  • pexels-photo-235355

    WTF, ResLife? Why Is My Dad Moving Out Of The House?

    Four words about ResLife? Worst. University Office. Ever. Allow me to explain: The FAT CATS in the Boston College Office of Residential Life think they’re all HIGH AND MIGHTY—especially this week—because they control housing decisions at Boston College. They mock students on Twitter with GIFs, reveling in their ephemeral relevancy and using humor to create […]

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    This Homeless Man Doesn’t Get To Live In Walsh, Either

    Every March at Boston College, countless groups of eight freshman are devastated after not receiving a pick time early enough for one of Lower Campus’ coveted suites. Instead, they are forced to break up into smaller groups and cross their fingers for a nine-man—or even just a double in 66. They make jokes around dining […]

  • meatball

    ResLife Clerical Error Gives One Lucky Freshman Housing In Meatball Obsession Stand

    LOWER CAMPUS — As many Boston College freshmen continue their frantic social scramble to secure housing for next year, one lucky student will be living somewhere a little more unique than the typical sophomore housing options, thanks to a clerical error by an entry-level ResLife employee. Vito Anthony Bertucci, Jr. (MCAS ’20) will spend his […]

  • reschoice

    “ResChoice” Students Demand More Say In Housing Process

    OFFICE OF RESIDENTIAL LIFE — A new protest movement on campus has started to gain noticeable traction this week, as hundreds of students are coming together to express their frustration with the notoriously tedious Boston College room selection process. These student activists, who describe themselves as “ResChoice,” are finally speaking up after years of oppression […]



Plex Employee With Spotify Premium To Headline Hutapalooza

NEWTON, MA — The Boston College Campus Activities Board announced Friday morning that the headliner for this year’s Hutapalooza, a new concert held at the Quonset Hut on Newton Campus, will be a Plex Employee with Spotify Premium. This up-and-coming yet secretive DJ is a cult hit in certain circles, known for performing a number […]


Frenzied Freshmen Girls Sacrifice Fuckboy Atop Mountain At Ascend Retreat

WORCESTER COUNTY — Tragedy struck last week at an all-girls retreat, which was intended to form a closely knit community among the new members of Ascend, a female mentoring program ran by the Center For Student Formation (CSF). Group leaders were horrified when the group’s orientation bonding games took a turn for the dire during […]


I Accidentally Commented The Entire Declaration Of Independence On His 28 Week Old Instagram And Now He Won’t Talk To Me

Okay, so, I met this guy on Friday at some mod party we both weren’t invited to. I recognized him from my Perspectives class, and we started talking. We hit it off! We followed each other on insta, added each other on snapchat, he even gave me his phone number. I was feeling good. I […]


If BC Is 54% Female, Then Why Do I Have To Blow Myself Still?

I remember my college tour of Boston College like it was yesterday. Back then I was a young, wide-eyed high school junior without a care in the world—well, aside from the burning desire to go to a dope college with a bunch of hot babes. I could tell it was going to be a great […]


Legal: The NEC is a dope work of satire.