• robzombie

    Plex Bro Takes Good Look Around Before Set to Make Sure People Are Watching

    FLYNN RECREATION COMPLEX — Standing in front of the cable machine while mentally preparing himself for another set of a tricep exercise, frequent Plex-goer Rob Schlossman (CSOM ‘19) checked his surroundings to ensure that someone would be watching him work out. Unable to find anyone at first, the sophomore eventually established brief eye contact with […]

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    WTF, ResLife? Why Is My Dad Moving Out Of The House?

    Four words about ResLife? Worst. University Office. Ever. Allow me to explain: The FAT CATS in the Boston College Office of Residential Life think they’re all HIGH AND MIGHTY—especially this week—because they control housing decisions at Boston College. They mock students on Twitter with GIFs, reveling in their ephemeral relevancy and using humor to create […]

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    This Homeless Man Doesn’t Get To Live In Walsh, Either

    Every March at Boston College, countless groups of eight freshman are devastated after not receiving a pick time early enough for one of Lower Campus’ coveted suites. Instead, they are forced to break up into smaller groups and cross their fingers for a nine-man—or even just a double in 66. They make jokes around dining […]

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    ResLife Clerical Error Gives One Lucky Freshman Housing In Meatball Obsession Stand

    LOWER CAMPUS — As many Boston College freshmen continue their frantic social scramble to secure housing for next year, one lucky student will be living somewhere a little more unique than the typical sophomore housing options, thanks to a clerical error by an entry-level ResLife employee. Vito Anthony Bertucci, Jr. (MCAS ’20) will spend his […]

  • reschoice

    “ResChoice” Students Demand More Say In Housing Process

    OFFICE OF RESIDENTIAL LIFE — A new protest movement on campus has started to gain noticeable traction this week, as hundreds of students are coming together to express their frustration with the notoriously tedious Boston College room selection process. These student activists, who describe themselves as “ResChoice,” are finally speaking up after years of oppression […]

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Confused Freshmen Accidentally Uber To Shabby Brighton Garage

BRIGHTON, MA — Coming off of a successful pregame in a Medeiros double, a group of scantily clad and wide-eyed freshmen regrettably discovered last night the dangers of mixing precise destinations with copious amounts of alcohol. Matt Brady (MCAS ’20) ordered an Uber at around 10:00pm for himself and three of his friends, requesting to be driven […]

Boston College Career Fair in Conte Forum.

Career Fair Rigged Against Humanities Major

CORCORAN COMMONS — After circling the bustling Heights Room during the Spring Career Fair several times, sophomore English major Hannah Ping came to the realization that the Fair had been deliberately and purposefully planned to not help her internship search at all. “This is ridiculous!” cried Ping, who is currently enrolled in Studies in Poetry and […]

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4 Plex Exercises To Think About While You Eat Chips Alone In The Dark

Whelp, it’s one of those nights again! Your roommates are asleep, which means it’s the perfect time to shame-eat their snacks then pretend you have a raccoon problem.  This is also a great time to mentally prepare for your future hot bod, so here are some exercises that you will definitely do tomorrow, champ!   […]

Frustrated college student studying at computer

Student Happy To Be Reunited With Constant Anxiety After Relaxing Winter Break

STAYER HALL — Having spent the past three weeks in a relatively calm state of mind, junior Matthew Angstrom (MCAS ‘18) reported that he was happy to finally reunite with his constant anxiety this week. While admitting that he enjoyed having some time apart from his existential dread during the holidays, the economics major confirmed […]

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